Every spell he casts burns fat—sometimes ounces, sometimes everything. And when the supernatural needs him, the magic loads him up with an endless hunger and pounds that appear overnight, dragging him down the highway in his RV like a cursed compass.

To everyone else, Jeff is just a lonely, morbidly obese drifter getting side-eyed at fast-food windows.

To the things that crawl out of the dark, he’s something else entirely: a feared monster-hunter who can turn his own body into a weapon.

This time, the pull leads him to a small town on the edge of Death Valley—where the air hums with a magic hotspot and a vampire named Napoleon is waiting. Napoleon isn’t just here to feed. He wants to build an army… and he offers Jeff the one thing Jeff has secretly wanted for years: power, respect, and a way to use his magic without the weight gain.

Midnight. Badwater. One choice: become the monster—or kill it.

20 Quarter-pounders, please
Funny
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